Review: Married With Zombies by Jesse Petersen

Author - Jesse Petersen
Genre - Zombies/Comedy
Series - Living With The Dead #1
Format - Ebook (192p.)
Rating - 3/5 stars

A heartwarming tale of terror in the middle of the zombie apocalypse.

Meet Sarah and David
Once upon a time they met and fell in love. But now they're on the verge of divorce and going to couples' counseling. On a routine trip to their counselor, they notice a few odd things - the lack of cars on the highway, the missing security guard, and the fact that their counselor, Dr. Kelly, is ripping out her previous client's throat.

Meet the Zombies
Now, Sarah and David are fighting for survival in the middle of the zombie apocalypse. But, just because there are zombies, doesn't mean your other problems go away. If the zombies don't eat their brains, they might just kill each other.

• Review •
I have mixed feelings with this book. While I liked the writing style and the plot, I just couldn't warm up to the characters at all. In fact, I despised them more than any other character I've ever read in my life. Dave is portrayed as a lazy bum that has no ambition in life outside of sitting on his ass playing video games all day while his wife is the bread winner of the family. And Sarah is obnoxious, vulgar/crude, abrasive, and an overall 'Debbie Downer'.

I also took exception to some of the authors intrusion points where our opinions greatly differed. I took offense at one of them and was highly insulted. Anyway, I had a rather large "wtf!?" moment in reaction to this little snippet ↓… (Because everyone wants to sit down to dinner covered in brain matter, blood, flesh and zombie "sludge"!)

"Hey," I said to him. "Why don't you take all these guns and put them in our bedroom so we can figure out the weapons and ammo situation after dinner. Then maybe we could roll Jack into the hall or out the window or something so that we can each shower. I know I don't want this disgusting shit on me anymore and I'm sure you feel the same way." (p.54 on Nook)

And my final issue is with the humor. Everyone said this book was hilariously funny, but I didn't laugh once, not even a little chuckle. Yes, there was some snarky insults thrown and heaps of foul-mouthed kids (OMG, the swearing in this book had to have broken some Guinness world record or something!), but for me, that doesn't equate comedy. If that were the case, everyone in the world could quit their jobs and be a comedian.

That all said, I did like this book. It reminded me a lot of my favorite movie The Stand. Just dumbed down for the little ones. I'm not sure if I liked it enough to read the others in the series or not, but I am interested in reading more zombie books… geared toward adults though. Would I recommend it? Meh, not really. At least, not at the insane amount I paid for it! What a rip off that was! If you find it for under $4, go for it though. Or better yet, check out the library.

★★★